An Unknown Future: a Blessing or a Curse?

Ringing in the New Year

On January 3, 2022, I posted the following quote on Instagram:

Puritans got it quite a bit better. They often wished each other a blessed new year, by which they meant something like this: I hope that everything that comes your way by the hand of Providence this year may be sanctified to you in and through Christ, so that you may be patient in adversity, thankful in prosperity, and have a firm trust in our faithful God and Father for the unknown future.

Joel Beeke

I wrote, “In reflecting on 2021, I was certainly blessed. Even in some difficult situations, I saw the Lord’s sovereignty, that His mercies that are new each morning, and countless examples of His provision.” There were challenges in 2021, but I had no idea what God’s hand of Providence had in store for 2022.

Meeting Difficulties Prematurely

I have the sinful tendency to be anxious, dreaming up what kind of dread is just around the corner, and there is nothing that will rob my joy quicker than borrowed worry.

When we try to meet difficulties prematurely we have neither the light nor the strength for them yet. “As thy days so shall thy strength be” was Moses’ blessing for Asher—in other words, your strength will equal your days. God knows how to apportion each one’s strength according to that day’s need, however great or small. The psalmist understood this when he wrote, “Lord you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure” (16:5).  

Elizabeth Elliott, The Future is Not Our Providence

I used to think, if I could just see into the future, I’d know how to plan better. I’d know which decision to make. I’d know how to protect my family. But the more I learn about the sovereignty of God and His providential design, the more thankful I am for the blessing of an unknown future.

An Unknown Future

God has not promised to give us strength for the unknown future. He has promised strength for today. At first glance, we might be tempted to think that He is withholding something from us. Why will He only give us strength for today and not for tomorrow? It’s because tomorrow is not our burden to bear. What a blessing that He does not force us to carry the trials and tests that are to come. Instead, He gives us new mercies each morning and strength for today.

Strength for Today

Had I known in advance what was going to transpire on September 19, 2022, I would’ve been an anxious disaster. I would not have had the strength to carry the weight of that information. How would I have gotten out of bed each morning knowing that in just a few days, my husband and best friend would face a near-death experience? Thank the Lord that He does not burden us with tomorrow’s sorrows. He gives strength for today; nothing less, but also nothing more.

People have said nice things to me about how strong and resolved I was during Perry’s stroke and recovery, but all I can say is that God gave me just enough strength for each day. Anything good that came out of me during those first days, weeks, and months was of Him. Anything good that ever comes out of me is Him, but in a crisis, we can see our shortcomings more clearly. Every moment of every day, I battled my fleshly desire to be anxious, to withdraw, to lose hope, to be resentful. Only by fixing my eyes on Scripture and on my love for my husband did I resist those urges to dwell on the anxieties of an unknown future.

Prayers that Build Faith

Our pastor once said that if we never ask God specific requests, He will never give specific answers. In other words, if we ask, “Lord, please heal Perry,” God may heal Perry, but will we notice? Will it be the kind or type of healing we had in mind? But if we ask, “Lord, please let feeling to return to Perry’s hand,” and the next day we see tiny movement in his pinky finger, we recognize immediately that God heard our plea and answered affirmatively! This is a prayer that builds faith.

I cannot count the times we have seen God answer specific prayers over the past year. This time last year, Perry was lying in a hospital bed, unable to stand up, to state his date of birth, to lift his right arm, or to tell the nurses my name. I have a video on my phone dated October 6, 2022 where Perry is sitting in a wheelchair, and his speech therapist asks him, “What do people drive?” He looks blankly at her and starts tapping his foot. He whispers, “I know this one.” She starts to give him clues, such as “Try to picture it in your head. Picture getting in it. You’ve got your keys, and then you drive off in your…” Finally, she pronounces the “cah” sound, and he answers, “car.” This exchange went on for more than 60 seconds, and he had to be given the first two letters of a three letter word. That same day, I have a video of him relearning to walk, wearing a belt around his waist for his therapist to hold him up. He struggles to take each step, legs shaking and foot stumbling with each movement forward.

Pressing On

Here we are one year later, and Perry drives, converses with people he’s never met, runs errands, reads books aloud, and tends our mini farm. (Chickens, cats, and dogs count as a mini farm, right?) He has walked 20,000+ steps a day at Disney World, rode roller coasters, walked up flights of stairs, and carried heavy boxes.

Is 2023 Perry the same as pre-September 2022 Perry? No. Does he have deficits? Yes. Do we still face an unknown future? Always. However, the way God designed our brains and bodies is truly amazing, and I’ve had a front row seat to witness the wonder of that anatomy. The blot clot was on the left side of his brain, killing a significant amount of brain tissue. The left side controls language, numbers, speech, and the right hand, which explains why he has difficulty thinking of words, conversing, writing, and completing tasks that require fine motor skills. The left side also controls logic, order, analysis, and reasoning. If you know him, you know Perry was a very laid back, carefree guy before his stroke. While his overall personality has not changed much (strokes cause drastic personality changes/issues in some people), he is much more methodical, logical, thoughtful, and particular now, which is medically unexplainable! I like to think that because his brain was forced to make new pathways to relay information on the left side, that it even strengthened some qualities he lacked before. Only a mighty Creator who cares about His creations could design the body in such a way.

While September 19, 2022 undoubtedly changed our little family’s life forever, we have been immensely blessed in the process. We wouldn’t have chosen it, but we would never trade it. God has worked in our personal relationships with Him, our marriage, our families, our home, our jobs, and every part of our lives. I have a refreshed perspective of God’s sanctifying hand of Providence, and can clearly see the blessing of an unknown future.

Like the Puritans, I pray that I will be found patient in adversity, thankful in prosperity, and having a firm trust in our faithful God and Father for the unknown future.